


Fray

by fairyuphoria



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Mentions of Alcohol Abuse, Mentions of Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-08
Updated: 2016-03-08
Packaged: 2018-05-25 13:31:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6196921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairyuphoria/pseuds/fairyuphoria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan and Phil lay on the floor of Phil's room going over some of their memories... good and bad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fray

"Do you remember that time we went to that party with all my Northern friends a few years back?" He hummed, back laying parallel to the other boy next to him, staring blankly at the popcorn ceiling. Dan let out a muffled snort as the memory came back to him.  
"That was a nice time," Phil said right as Dan mumbled, "What a horrible party that was." Phil scrunched his eyebrows together, turning his head to stare curiously at the other.  
"You can't honestly not remember what happened, right?" Dan said in disbelief, while Phil stared back, confusion swirling in the pools of his eyes, making Dan sigh, turning his nose back to the roof. "I always told myself you didn't but I guess deep down I never really believed it, but I should've guessed. You were pretty wasted."  
Phil frowned, turning to stare back at his respective patch of the ceiling. "I remember most of that night. I think it was at George's house, they had just got rid of Henry's things, and it was some sort of sadistic 'Rest in Power' party or something, to celebrate his life, I never it got it though because he literally died from choking in his own vomit after one of George's so called legendary par-"  
"Phil," Dan warned, as the other's voice began to rise and the topic was drifting off to somewhere they didn't need it to.  
"Right," Phil sighed, closing his eyes. "And obviously I went, but you remember, I wasn't in the best mind state." Dan nodded, letting out a sarcastic laugh. "And I made the mistake of downing five-"  
"Seven," Dan corrected flatly.  
Phil glanced over, humming slightly. "Seven shots, when I was supposed to be staying with you, I mean you didn't even know anyone really, but we ended up finding each other, dancing and stuff all night, I thought it was pretty fun," Phil smirked at the memory, it had been an all around good night, if you forgot about the whole death of a friend thing, at least he thought. Dancing and kissing your boyfriend while feeling the euphoric buzz of alcohol? Yeah, that was a good night, Phil was sure of it.  
"That wasn't me," Dan's voice stone cold, eyes staring straight ahead, as Phil's head whipped towards Dan with wide eyes. "It was Josh Barnes, I can't believe you never realized, I thought you literally were like fuck it for a night and cheated on me," Dan laughed bitterly.  
"I swear, that, that was you, I'm sure of it, no way that was Josh," Phil said in disbelief and disgust.   
"And I swear to you, that was fucking Josh, who doesn't even look like me by the way, and while you guys sucked face, I was stuck with Natalie Hennerman, who was determined on sticking her tongue down my throat," Dan barked back.   
"I'm so sorry, Dan, why did you never bring it up? It's been three years, and this is the first time you've ever brought it up, you know I'd never actually cheat on you, wait," Phil paused his pitiful apologies, as he connected dots. "That was in 2012. Is that why you started distancing yourself?"  
Dan bit back a sarcastic, sad smile, nodding. "I never brought it up because I knew you took Henry's death pretty hard, you were in a bad place, I wasn't about to put more shit on top of that, but everytime you tried to touch me, I'd just see his lips on yours and I-" Dan paused, taking a deep breath. "I never brought it up because I loved you."  
Phil's heart sunk ten feet into the ever growing black pit in his rib cage. He'll never get over the way he said it, in past tense, with a sort of exhaustion behind it. A silence hung over them, and the ceiling once again became painfully interesting. Phil's mind was swallowed whole by the realization of why Dan had stopped looking at him as much as he could all those years ago. He was a cheater. The word echoed in his mind, it was something he had once prided himself in, the fact he would never be a cheater. But he has been, for three years, without even knowing.  
Dan's thoughts, though, were drifting down the endless stream of memories involving Phil over the years. With the tension in the room, most of their fights came to mind, everything from Phil constantly accidentally putting the milk in the cupboard instead of the fridge, spoiling it, to Dan almost moving out two years ago. All were slightly tender memories, so Dan was surprised when he started to think about Phil's birthday in 2010.  
Dan laughed lightly. "Do you remember your 23rd birthday?"  
Phil was pulled from his thoughts by Dan's whimsical voice, smiling. "How could I forget, you surprised me by getting a train the day before, and it was bloody freezing, you forgot your jacket."  
The two's laughter mixed together in beautiful harmony as they relived the moment.  
Phil was sprawled out on his bed, sighing boredly, when Dan had called. Of course, Phil assumed it was just their routined phone call they had become accustom to.  
"Hello, Daniel boy," Phil smiled, placing the phone to his ear.  
"Hi Phil," Phil bunched up his nose at the sound of the other boys shaky voice.  
"You okay?" Phil asked, concerned for his younger friend- boyfriend.  
"Yeah, hey, are you free right now?" Dab asked nervously.  
"If you count laying on my bed, talking to some dweeb on the phone busy, then yes, horribly so."  
Dan rolled his eyes. "So, you know how tomorrows your birthday, yeah?"  
"No! Really?!" Phil exclaimed in false shocked disbelief.   
"Shut up!" Dan laughed. "So, you can let me know if this is really dumb of me and tell me to go home, but I may or may not be standing at Manchester Piccadilly Station right now, and I also may or may bot have forgotten my coat, also it may or may not be absolutely freezing."  
"No fucking way," Phil gasped. "You're kidding, right?"   
"I'm sorry, I thought I'd be a fun idea to surprise you, I can still catch the train back South right now, if you want," But by the time Dan was finished, Phil already had his coat on, stumbling down the stairs as he pulled on his shoes.   
"Dan, shush, I'm getting in the car right now, I'll be there in ten minutes, find somewhere warm to wait, I'm bringing a spare jacket," Phil began rambling as he threw the jacket in the passenger seat and closed the door behind him as he was in the safety of the car. "I love you, Dan, so much."   
A small silence followed by a small chattering laugh came through the phone. "Love you, Phil. I'll see you soon. Happy birthday."  
Phil smiles softly as he came out of the warm memory, feeling as if he had just stepped out of the water of a bath. "It was one of the coldest years on record, I can't believe you didn't get frostbite."   
Dan smiles up at the ceiling. "It was worth it."   
Phil hummed, feeling much better since his discovery minutes ago. It was moments like these that he felt truly at home, laying besides Dan, whether it be in a bed, on a beach, or even on the uncomfortable floor of his bedroom. A memory cane back to Phil in that moment and he had to stifle his laughter. "Remember that one time you got so angry at me that you booked a flight to Greece and said it was because you couldn't stand to be in the same country as, and I quote, my 'gerbil face'," Phil was laughing by now, rolling around in a fit.  
"Ok, Ok, Ok," Dan huffed between laughs, joining Phil's cackled and rocking back and forth in hysterics. "Arguably not one of my best moments."  
"Arguably?" Phil raised an eyebrow at him.   
"Definitely in my top ten worst decisions, but I've done a lot of stupid shit in my life time, mind you," Dan chuckled and Phil hummed in agreement. "It was a good trip in the end though."  
"Yeah, it was," Phil mumbled with a smile, remembering the hectic flight he had bought once realizing where Dan had gone, and despite the flight being one of the most tense and angry plane rides in history, once they were in the sun, surrounded by beauty in every direction, it was hard to hold the frowns and grudges they were carrying, and so ensued their spontaneous Greece trip.  
"We had a good run," Dan sighed, turning his head to stare at Phil, who nodded in agreement, ignoring the pit that just continued to grow, engulfing his ribs now and creeping beneath the beds of his nails.  
"We did," He sat up now, to stare around the room- his room- his old room. All was empty, the grey carpet beneath them was just as scratchy as it was when they first moved in, but now it had a few more straightener burns accompanying it. The walls were a bare white, nothing there to brighten the room any longer, making it seem smaller. All that was left behind that showed evidence he had ever been there in the first place was the dent in his wall on the left of the door from his shelf, and the skeleton of his bed frame. Phil frowned at the sight, it was like the past eight years had never even happened, he had never been, Dan and Phil had never been, and never will be, it was all just one big fever dream. Phil felt his eyes starting to become misty, and it was no stopping the waterworks now, he knew it, and so did Dan it seemed, wrapping an around around him.   
"It's just like it never happened, ya know? It's all over, this, us, it's done and I'm not even sure it ever was something in the first place," Phil's hands were gesturing wildly, and his voice broken into fragments from the sobs erupting from the pit. His shoulder shook harshly, hitting Dan's left arm uncomfortably, but he didn't seem to mind.  
"But it was, we lived, we made, we were, it was us against the world, and not everything was perfect, but that's what made it real. We were real, this is real," Dan mumbled, rubbing circles into Phil's bicep, all while trying to stop himself from crying. "We aren't over, it's just going to not us so weft together, you'll have your own fraying strings, and you'll entangle them with someone else, starting your own, new adventures together, and so will I, but that will never erase us."  
Phil nodded and smiled. "I love you, Dan, so much."   
Dan paused, laughing a bit, nodding. "Love you too, Phil."

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! I had a lot of fun writing this, i love angst lol.


End file.
